Merle Higgins – curmudgeonly outdoorsman, lives in Minneapolis
20 February 2009, 5:30am
I drove by the old Callipeaux place last night ‘bout 9:30pm. As I pulled up into their driveway, I noticed that the lights in the house were being turned off one by one. Leaving my truck running, I walked up to their door and began to pound with my right fist and ring the doorbell repeatedly with my other hand. After a few seconds of this, Edmund opened the door and immediately told me to keep the racket down.
He said, “Higgins, you’ve got to see what’s in the backyard!”
Taking a step into their mudroom, I said, “Aren’t you going to offer me a beer?”
He gave me a Pabst as we walked through the kitchen and toward the rear of the house. Walking out onto their back porch, we were greeted by LeTigre. She looked at me and whispered, “Look out there!”
I looked in the direction she was pointing, and I saw a fully-grown Great Grey Owl sitting quietly, on the ground, not twenty feet from where the three of us stood! And the damn thing was looking right back at us! I thought, “Mother of Mercy, that’s a big bird!” Must have been two and a half feet tall or even three as it sat guarding the rabbit it had just caught.
“My gun’s in my truck!” I exclaimed, “I’ll be right back.”
Turning, LeTigre grabbed my arm. “No, Merle. This one’s not for shoot’n at, it’s for look’n at. And besides, why do you instantly want to torture it? What’s it ever done to you?”
What’s it ever done to me? How about, what’s it ever done for me? Nothing. I had to get out of that hippy, animal-loving, freakfest. I’m glad I left my truck running, because I had just three more beers and then I got the hell out of there! - MH
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